Category: Personal

My new ebook is now available!

My new book, A Man Explained It To Me!: Everyday Topics Mansplained So Well That Even A Woman Can Understand Them by Mr. V. I. Stepford is now available on Amazon.  Below are links to various countries where you can purchase it:

USA

UK

Germany

France

Spain

Italy

The Netherlands

Japan

Brazil

Canada

Mexico

Australia

India

Price is $2.99 USD for Kindle edition.

-VIS

New Book To Be Released Soon!

Amazon is currently reviewing my new book,  A Man Explained It To Me!: Everyday Topics Mansplained So Well That Even A Woman Can Understand Them by Mr. V. I. Stepford, for publication.

I expect the book will be released by January 23, 2019, but I will certainly keep you all informed when the book goes live on Amazon.

It is only in Kindle format right now, but I should have the paperback version available within a week.

This will be the first in the Mansplaining Series by Mr. V. I. Stepford.

-VIS

A Time Of Deceit

“In a time of universal deceit – telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”

– George Orwell

As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately, saying, “tell us, when will all these things occur, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?”

Jesus answered, saying, “see that no man deceives you.”

– Matthew 24 : 3-4

#whyIwrite

-VIS

Alcoholism Recovery Update – December 19, 2018.

46 days sober and the pressure for Christmas is building.  I don’t celebrate it, but my family does, and I’m planning to spend it with them.

Strangely, I’m handling the stress better than I thought I would.  I thought that once crunch time hit, I’d be freaking out, begging for a drink.  I’m not.  I’m calm, I’m cool, I have a lot to do, but I know I can handle this.

I’m sorting through the emotions with the help of my girl who, even though she has enormous stresses on herself right now, has been a Godsend to me.  She helps me process feelings I didn’t know were possible.  She’s a great distraction too.  Taking care of her needs makes me focus on someone else instead of feeling sorry for myself.

And I’m taking steps to break off the relationship with alcohol.

I absolutely love Perrier, but I’ve stopped drinking it because it reminds me of beer.  When I go out, I avoid going by the liquor store – I make a conscious effort to take another route and enjoy the scenery of the less-traveled roads instead.    I forgot that I carry a flask of homemade gin in my briefcase.  I found the flask, dumped the gin, and threw the flask into the garbage can in the garage so I don’t have to see it.

You know, it’s kind of like breaking up with someone.  At first, you’re in denial, thinking you’ll figure out some way to fix everything.  Then you start to bargain with yourself (”maybe if I just cut my alcohol intake”), then you get angry, then you start to accept it.  Grieving, in a sense, but very much like breaking up in that, eventually, you purge your home and your life of everything related to it.

Even my treasured Guinness glasses have gone into the recycling bin.

I’m sure there’s going to be days ahead – many of them – where I think I just can’t take it any more and will crave alcohol.  I will cross that bridge when I come to it.  But today, it’s a footrace between me and the demon alcohol and I’m Usain Freaking Bolt.

I’ve got this.

-VIS

Sobriety Update – Dec. 6, 2018

32 days (or 33, not sure) since my last drop of alcohol.

I’ve lost 12 pounds.

I found $300 that I had stashed in a drawer to spend on booze this month.

My anxiety has dropped tremendously.  In fact, I have to be honest … I haven’t felt anxiety in weeks.

I’m sleeping an average of 5 hours a night with no daytime naps (used to be 8 hours per night and a 2 hour nap).  I have five more hours of productive time each day.

I can breathe easier.

My food tastes better.

I’ve increased my daily walking distance from 3.6 km (2.25 miles) to 5 km (3.1 miles)

I’ve increased my strength workout repetitions by 80%.

Someone offered me a glass of wine this evening and I replied, “no thanks, I don’t drink.”  My girl doesn’t drink, either, so this makes life a lot easier for both of us.

 

With all this happening, I’ve decided to set new goals.

I’ve set my goal weight at 195 lbs.  I will not change the way I eat (I make really, really good food).

I want to save $900 over the next 3 months and buy myself a watch I’ve had my eye on for my 51st birthday.  No extra savings, no expense cutting … just booze money that isn’t being spent on booze.

I want to increase my daily walking distance to 10 km (6.2 miles).

I want to increase my strength workout repetitions until they’re 4 times where I started.

I think, perhaps, this is the biggest gift I’ve ever given myself – the gift of feeling good and looking great.

-VIS

She’s Just That Good.

She had a concern today.

She started with, “I’m upset about something.”

I asked what was upsetting her, and instead of playing the “you should already know” game or the “you have to dig it out of me” game, she told me exactly what I had done that upset her and, just as importantly, why it upset her.

At no point did she lose her cool.  She calmly explained how she felt and why.

She didn’t cry, she didn’t throw a tantrum, she didn’t whine – she didn’t play any of the mind games you might expect.  She remained feminine and submissive, but just by using her words, she was crystal clear on how she felt and why.  No hint of aggression, no sense of victimhood.

I considered what she said.  I decided she was right.  I totally understood why she felt upset.  What I had decided to do wasn’t disrespectful, but it wasn’t entirely respectful of our bond, either.  So, I changed direction.  It wasn’t that I was weak on the topic.  No, no.  She made me understand I hadn’t considered her feelings when I made a decision.  My fault, I’m a man.  We tend to be pretty clueless when it comes to empathy.  Give us some concrete, we’ll build you an entire freaking civilization.  But empathy?  Pfft … we suck at that.

But see, I don’t have to try to be empathetic with her.  I don’t have to be something I’m not.  If I lack empathy, it’s because that’s how I am, and she’ll tell me what she’s feeling.  If I choose to ignore her, that’s up to me.  But in this case, I chose not to.  And it’s not like it was something major.  It was quite minor (to me anyway), but it affected her quite deeply.

But her intention wasn’t to make me feel bad. I didn’t feel any guilt.  I just told her, “okay, well, I won’t do that then.” She thanked me and we dropped the topic.  There was no “aftermath” and it certainly wasn’t any kind of argument.  It was her expressing her feelings and me considering them and changing directions.

And when you communicate like that in a relationship, the relationship becomes easy.  And I don’t mean simple.  Anyone can have a simple relationship – he leads, she follows.  That’s pretty simple.

No, I mean she makes it easy.

It’s easy to have a great relationship with her.  It’s almost like it’s no effort at all.  Everything is just so natural.  So … organic.

She’s just that good.

-VIS

I’m back from the cabin.  We talked about spending another night there, but I have to work in the morning.

Definitely going back next weekend.  What a great time!

Inbox and submits are re-opened.

I expect the single girls behaved themselves?  If not, I expect confessions.

-VIS