From the #1 New Release, “A Man Explained It To Me!: Everyday Topics Mansplained So Well That Even A Woman Can Understand Them” by Mr. V. I. Stepford, available here.
Dog are super smart and they love to get rewards. So, to make your dog sit, all you need is a few treats and some patience.
Stand in front of your dog and say, “sit!” If he sits, give him the treat and say “good boy!” or “good girl!”, then make him walk around a little and do the same thing again. If he sits again, give him another treat.
But if he doesn’t sit, there’s an easy way to get him to do so. Dangle the treat in front of his nose while saying “sit!” If he still doesn’t sit, move the treat over his snout to the back of his head. You’ll notice his nose will follow the treat and he’ll raise his nose. As he raises his nose, his backside will automatically drop to the ground. When he sits, give him the treat and say, “good boy!” or “good girl!” and praise your dog. Give him scratches and love.
Keep doing this over and over until your dog knows that the word “sit” means he has to put his backside down.
See? You’re smarter than a dog!
My new book, A Man Explained It To Me!: Everyday Topics Mansplained So Well That Even A Woman Can Understand Them by Mr. V. I. Stepford is now available on Amazon. Below are links to various countries where you can purchase it:
Price is $2.99 USD for Kindle edition.
Amazon is currently reviewing my new book, A Man Explained It To Me!: Everyday Topics Mansplained So Well That Even A Woman Can Understand Them by Mr. V. I. Stepford, for publication.
I expect the book will be released by January 23, 2019, but I will certainly keep you all informed when the book goes live on Amazon.
It is only in Kindle format right now, but I should have the paperback version available within a week.
This will be the first in the Mansplaining Series by Mr. V. I. Stepford.
Airplane wings are shaped so that when enough air is flowing over them fast enough, the plane literally gets sucked up into the air.
The big girl words for it are “Bernoulli’s Principle,” but pilots just call it “lift.”
Today, I was talking with my girl and I said, “don’t worry your inferior, pretty little head about it.”
She replied, “what’s ‘inferior’?”
Oh, you gem of a girl!
I love to mansplain. I absolutely adore it. But I find girls don’t ask the right questions. They don’t ask me to explain stuff they already know. But since my girl loves when I mansplain to her, she asks ridiculous questions.
And I love her for it.
Find yourself a girl who sets you up for the simplest mansplains on earth. She’ll get the thrill of your condescending tone. You’ll feel like you’re teaching her something and, let’s face it, men love to teach girls.
And girls, if you’re not setting him up for an opportunity to mansplain, it’s you who’s missing out.
You see, there are two kinds of people in this world. People who lead and people who follow.
People who lead are called “dominant.” They make sure everything is under control. They care for you, protect you, provide for you, and give you rules to follow so that you feel safe. And you love to feel safe, don’t you?
People who follow are called “submissive.” Submissive people follow their leader and they do as they’re told. They’re soft and very, very polite. They enjoy pleasing other people, so it’s natural for them to obey when someone tells them what to do.
Dominant/submissive relationships mean that you have at least one dominant person and at least one submissive person in a relationship together. It’s a little more (hmmm … “complicated” is a big word) … there’s a little more to it than that, but that’s basically how it works.
See? Simple enough for even a girl to understand.