Author: Vintage In Stepford™

Hello Mr. Stepford. i found (some of) Your blogs has a very similar concepts with the book called “the surrendered wife” by Laura Doyle but more in depth way. Do You have a ‘book lists’ (or something similar) which who are inspired and wish to learn about “traditional gender roles” (as well as anti-feminist/ female inferiority/Male First) including web pages and other blogs, Sir? Thank You for Your time. :)

My goodness, this was SO polite!  Too bad you didn’t include the 5 pieces of information so that you could get a star and a good girl because this was lovely to read.

Here’s the thing.  I don’t read TGR books and I only follow a very few TGR blogs.  Anything I blog is just from my personal beliefs.  If someone happens to inspire me to jot something down in my blog, that’s great, but I can’t really say that anyone other than my parents inspired any of my beliefs.

I’ve never read The Surrendered Wife, but I’ve been told that Laura Doyle and I have somewhat similar trains of thought.

The blogs that I can recall off the top of my head are:

@the-modern-female

@flawlesslyfeminine

Those are two good instructional blogs for girls.

It’s not exactly TGR, more D/s, but I like

@dwpreturns

As for books, I really don’t read any TGR books.  I mostly read stuff like Hemingway, Dickens, Nabokov, and a heck of a lot of non-fiction stuff.  The only book I can think of is Silly Girl Decisions Are For Men and I don’t recall who wrote that.  I’ve never read it, I’ve just seen the cover.

What I’d like to do someday is enlist a girl to compile a list of good TGR blogs and books, because I’ve been asked this question several times.  That would be a good project for a good girl who’s bored one day.

No information, no points, though your mail was splendidly polite.

-VIS

this isnt an ask or anything, its just for you. you dont even really need to pay attention to it. i really missed your posts while you were gone. they make sense to me and make me feel better. so thank you. i just wanted you to know.

You’d be amazed what I pay attention to. (oops, preposition at the end of a sentence)

This was really sweet.  Whoever you are, thank you very much.  I’m glad they help you make sense of the world. 

Thanks for expressing your feelings to me.  I really do appreciate it.

I can never get enough of these kind of soft, gentle, uplifting mails.

No information, so no stars, but thank you again.

-VIS

When we say, “it’s okay, you’re just a girl.”

We’re setting the bar lower for you.  Don’t be insulted or demeaned by it.  Instead, take comfort in it – you’re just a girl in a man’s world and we’re willing to make some allowances because of it.

Men and women are vastly different.  So what could be so bad about holding them to different standards?

It isn’t meant to be demeaning.  If anything, it’s meant to be comforting.

-VIS

I have plans tonight, folks, so I won’t be answering my inbox, but there are many, many old posts in my queue from the first incarnation of my blog.  The queue will post one every 90 minutes until 10PM, so enjoy.

And have a great evening!

-VIS

I find myself constantly trying to prove myself to men. Prove that I don’t need guidance. That I don’t need rules. That I don’t need punishments. That I don’t need anything that comes along with a traditional life. I seem to keep failing. At what point, as a girl, do you know whether or not you need these things? I am lost and confused. 29/F/5’1″/145lbs/US

When? Shortly after you question whether you need them.

I know that’s an incredibly brief answer and I’m not known for my brevity, but it’s the truth and there’s no other way to put it, but I’ll try.

That you’ve done enough self-reflection to realize that you’re constantly trying to prove yourself to men is admirable – that can’t have been an easy thing for you to admit to yourself, let alone to me, so good girl for that.  And to realize that you’re fighting the traditional life as hard as you can and will continue to fight it for as long as you can is also difficult.  It indicates to me that you were probably raised in a traditional home, but that you’re trying to make your own mark as a strong, independent woman.

And it’s difficult to fight your upbringing, there’s no doubt about it.  For most people, spending your 20′s doing exactly the opposite of what your parents taught you is a rite of passage.  But as the angst of youth fades and you begin to realize that the world is not the way you had hoped it would be, we all tend to revert back to the tried and true principles of the past. For some, it’s because our parents taught them to us.  For others, the traditional life is the exact opposite of what our parents taught, but it’s time-tested so why fight it?

Your time is coming, I can tell you that.  Just asking the question shows me that you’re coming to a point in your life when traditional values may suit you.  It doesn’t have to be today or tomorrow or next week, so don’t rush it.  But as you discover that being a girl in a Man’s World is exhausting, you may resign yourself to the fact that a traditional life is not only what you need, but what you truly want.

And hey, there’s a lot worse possible fates than being a traditional girl.

I’d love to hear back from you in a year to welcome you to the wonderful world of 21st century traditionalism, so please stay in touch.

5 pieces of information.  Gold Star!  Very good girl!

-VIS

How long after the divorce did you start this blog

Lest people think that my blog is some form of “anger expression” over my divorce, I divorced in my 20s and I’m now 50 so they’re really not related.  I’ve had numerous satisfying relationships since then.

My ex-wife refused to speak to me or her son after the divorce and that has made the entire healing process much easier and much more complete.

I won everything in the divorce.  The house, the car, the investments, the business, I even won sole custody of my son.  When it’s comes to men’s divorce rights, I was a pioneer.  

To be honest, my divorce was one of the 5 best things that’s ever happened to me in my life.  It made me a rich man in more ways than one.  Not only did I get the material things, but I got the opportunity to raise my son alone and he has become a really great man with a thriving business of his own and a beautiful fiancée who adores him.

-VIS