More on the Director of Marketing Debacle

I just got an email from the Deputy Director of Marketing who thanked me for forcing the director to resign. He said she has only been there a year, but she has proven herself to be a bully who never admits when she’s wrong and will not abide any one else’s ideas but her own.

I wrote back and told him someone should have said something a long time ago and told him he is now the acting director of marketing for the company and we’ll consider his future when we see what he’s capable of.

I’ve had a pipe and a glass of sparkling wine with Amelie and now she wants to take off for the day. I’m staying. I’ve got several emails to go through and I don’t want to feel like anyone can force me to go home early just because they’re annoying.

-VIS

Amelie Gave Up Her Salary

Amelie came in to check on me and she said she notified head office that she will be giving up her salary on condition the company pays her expenses.

So that’s another half million per year saved by the company!

I told her I was proud of her for forfeiting her salary to benefit the bottom line.

She asked me to have some homemade Champagne with her, so Jennifer is making it now and we’re going to have some sparkling white wine and I’m going to smoke a pipe. I brought “aged Bourbon” tobacco with me today.

-VIS

She Resigned (Thank God!)

I had my first board of directors meeting today.

First on the agenda was the director of marketing who told us she was taking the website in a new direction; she was going to have at least 50% plus sized models featured.

I said, “hold it, no you’re not. The old saying is go woke, go broke. We’re not going to cave to the woke mob and lose money. No way.”

That’s when she started telling us about “patriarchal systems of oppression” and how “the future is now and we must seize it.”

I told her, “Gillette went woke and lost 8 billion dollars the same year. Disney has gone woke and their stock price has tanked. I just gave up my entire salary to make this company more profitable and you want to ruin it? Not on my watch, lady!”

Amelie got involved at that point and said, “what evidence do we have that doing this will increase sales?”

The woman said, “there’s no evidence, but all of our competitors are doing it and we don’t want to be left behind.”

I said, “all of our competitors are losing market share to us.”

She said, “either we embrace the future or I resign.”

I said, “I’ll expect your resignation on my desk before the end of the day.”

She gasped and called for Amelie, but she just said, “he’s my right hand man. If he wants your resignation, you’ll give it to him or be fired.”

She walked out of the Zoom meeting and faxed her resignation to me 20 minutes later.

Amelie came into my office and asked me if I was alright, I said I was fine. She said, “take today off, Daddy. That was stressful.” I said, “I’m a professional. I’ll take my frustrations out on the weights at lunch time.”

I worked out hard at lunch and had a hot shower to relax. Jennifer came in and told me Samantha had made Cottage Pie for lunch which was perfect because Cottage Pie is one of my main comfort foods. So I ate that and now I’m relaxed again.

I can’t believe the nerve of some people. Feminists especially.

-VIS

Neckties and the Girls

Well, all three of the girls freaked out over my tie. Amelie, Jennifer, and Alyssandra all believe it looks very handsome and makes me look powerful. So, with that in mind, I’m going to wear one every day.

I have a board meeting via Zoom today. I could have gone down to Toronto to participate, but why bother when Zoom is available?

Jennifer got the money I sent and thanked me very much. She asked if there was anything she could do to thank me and I said she could thank me in bed next time she comes over. She giggled and nodded.

Score! lol

-VIS

I Got Paid!

I got paid by the company. It was electronically transferred into my account overnight.

I made $38,750 for the month. That’s a pretty sizeable paycheque, but I’m going to give it to Jennifer. She worked a hell of a lot harder than I did this month and it’s only fair since the company doesn’t pay her expenses but they pay mine.

I have her wiring number, so I’m going to do that now.

-VIS

Neckties

Normally I don’t wear a tie. Someone once told me that I look much better without one, and I took that as gospel. But one evening over dinner, the girls told me how handsome I look in a tie, so I’m going to wear one today to work.

I have 38 ties that I bought from the thrift store in town. They’re all 100% silk and absolutely beautiful. I buy them for $2 per tie whereas they cost about $150 in stores. That’s the power of thrifting.

So I’ll see what kind of response I get from the girls today when I wear a tie.

-VIS

Savinelli Pipes

I spent yesterday evening in front of a fire with a glass of Scotch and something new, a Savinelli pipe.

Normally, I smoke Peterson pipes from Ireland, but Savinelli is an Italian firm and well known for their pipes. I bought one a little while ago, but hadn’t tried it until yesterday.

I like it. A lot. It smokes better than a Peterson. It breathes better and I can only imagine how good it is when it’s seasoned. Amelie says the pipes from St. Claude in France are better than Savinelli pipes so I can only imagine how good they are.

I’m impressed with Savinelli, but I’m not going to buy more of them until I’ve tried a handmade pipe from St. Claude.

-VIS

Cost Cutting Ideas

When it comes to cost cutting, no one has better ideas than the employees of the company. They’re on the front lines, so they know the little things that add up into thousands – sometimes tens of thousands – of dollars per year.

So today, I’m going to suggest to Amelie that we open up suggestions to the front line employees – the salespeople on the floor who have to deal with expenses every day. I’m going to suggest we give them a reward – perhaps $250 if we use one of their ideas.

If we only get five ideas on how to cut costs, that could be $5,000 of costs cut. School taught me every dollar of expenses cut is a dollar in profit, so $5,000 of costs cut is $5,000 of extra profit.

It’s worth a shot.

-VIS

$1 Per Year Salary?

I’m sitting in front of a fire smoking a pipe of Vanilla tobacco and drinking a glass of Lagavulin thinking about how to increase profitability in the company.

I’ve decided to lead by example. I’m going to request that my salary be reduced to $1 per year. I want all my expenses paid for (they pretty much do that now anyway), and I still want Profit Bonuses. But I make enough money from my lawsuit to not have to draw a salary. Besides, if the company is paying all my expenses, I don’t need money from the company or from my lawsuit.

So tomorrow, I’m going to go into Amelie’s office and demand a pay cut. I get about $40,000 tomorrow (the cheque is already written), but I’m going to give it to Jennifer. Any profit bonuses I get, I’m going to split between Jennifer and Alyssandra.

-VIS

Update on my Day

Jennifer came into my office with a list of liquors to buy, plus she thinks it’s a good idea to buy a wine and Champagne fridge for my office, so I’ve approved it, but I told her to get Amelie to approve it.

She got some good stuff, too; Lagavulin 16, Lagavulin 12, Bombay Sapphire gin, 3 different kinds of rum, and a bunch of red and white wines, plus a couple of bottles of Champagne. Good choices.

The bar is supposed to be installed tomorrow and the booze will be here Wednesday. We have a short week because of the cold on Friday, so we’ll have to hurry to get it all set up.

I enjoyed my time upstairs with some Scotch and a pipe. There are some great books up there, but I’m looking forward to hauling mine upstairs. I’m going to ask Amelie if I can start bringing them in tomorrow. I figure if I bring in a box a day, I should be done by the time we get married.

Mind you, I have two couches in front of my fireplace in the lower level of my office, and I prefer sitting in them to drink my Scotch and smoke my pipe. The upstairs is nice, but it’s a little cool for my taste.

Meanwhile, Alyssandra is working out just fine. I gave her a project that I figured would take all day and she had it done by the time I went upstairs for a glass of Scotch and a pipe. Now I don’t know what to get her to do, so I told her to play on her phone until something comes in.

Every time she comes in my office, we flirt, so that’s interesting.

-VIS