On Being a Hypnotist

Seriously, gentlemen, get your Certified Hypnotist or Certified Hypnotherapist certificate.

I got my CHT back in 1996 and it’s always such great fun to hypnotize a girl and play tricks with her mind.

Since I’ve had my certificate, I haven’t yet dated a girl who didn’t eventually ask me to hypnotize her.  And once it starts, her mind becomes a beautiful playground for you both to explore.

Besides, she’ll think it’s hot af.

-VIS

How to Make Your Dog Sit

From the former #1 New Release, “A Man Explained It To Me!: Everyday Topics Mansplained So Well That Even A Woman Can Understand Them” by Mr. V. I. Stepford, available here.

Dog are super smart and they love to get rewards.  So, to make your dog sit, all you need is a few treats and some patience.

Stand in front of your dog and say, “sit!”  If he sits, give him the treat and say “good boy!” or “good girl!”, then make him walk around a little and do the same thing again. If he sits again, give him another treat.

But if he doesn’t sit, there’s an easy way to get him to do so.  Dangle the treat in front of his nose while saying “sit!”  If he still doesn’t sit, move the treat over his snout to the back of his head.  You’ll notice his nose will follow the treat and he’ll raise his nose.  As he raises his nose, his backside will automatically drop to the ground.  When he sits, give him the treat and say, “good boy!” or “good girl!” and praise your dog.  Give him scratches and love.

Keep doing this over and over until your dog knows that the word “sit” means he has to put his backside down.

See? You’re smarter than a dog!

-VIS

I’m Back!

I’m back from the cabin.

With me were my neighbour, Danielle, and her friend, Amanda, both of whom have been with me to the cabin before. 

Something I noticed while we were there that was just confirmation of what I already knew: girls will do anything to get the attention of the only male in the house.  This was confirmed over and over again; when I wasn’t paying attention to them, they’d do virtually anything to get and hold my attention.

They’ve both said they want to go back to the cabin as soon as possible and since neither of them are working right now (they’re in online university with a flexible schedule) and I’m retired, I figure if we go back for a week each month, that would be fun.

My grandson’s first birthday was yesterday.  We had a good little party for him while he smushed his hands and face into his birthday cake.  He’s just so cute.

In any case, I’m back and will begin posting again.

-VIS