Guard Your Thoughts

There are going to be times in your Traditional Gender Role relationship where you want to clapback at him or you’re going to want to prove you have a clever wit.

Don’t bother.  Don’t even think that way.  Put those thoughts out of your head.

Whatever you think about, you will make reality.  And if you hold any animosity toward your man, it will reveal itself in your actions.

Guard your thoughts.  Once you think it, you create it – good or bad.



“You Can Be Right, Or You Can Be Happy.”

I heard a man say something the other day that I think more applies to women.  He said that when he was about to get married, his father told him, “in marriage, you can be right, or you can be happy.”

And I suppose if your wife wears the pants in the family, that’s true.

But in Traditional Gender Roles, it’s the woman’s decision – she can be right, or she can be happy.  She can be the strong-willed little feminist icon rebelling against her husband’s every word or she can choose to be happy, instead.

And with women’s overall happiness decreasing, I would think women would choose to be happy, not necessarily right.


Believe it or not, women are simple creatures – the BAR system

Think she’s complicated? Think again.

Men and Women 002

Most men think that women are complex creatures. They complain about women over-analyzing, running amok, and being too demanding.

But in fact, the opposite is true. All girls really need in life is 3 things – and they form an acronym: Boundaries, Appreciation, and Routine – or BAR.

If she has Boundaries, which include punishment for violation, she knows there are limitations on how far she can go before you put her back in her place. Boundaries also include accountability for her actions. These Boundaries give her a sense of security unlike anything else you can give her.

Of course, she needs Appreciation – to be used like a slut, to be cuddled when she cries, to be told she’s a “good girl” when her behavior is at its best. Appreciation includes “I love you”s and maintenance spankings.

She requires Routine which includes consistency. If she’s busy with her Routine, she doesn’t have time to over-think. If she doesn’t have time to over-think, she can’t over-analyze every little situation in her life, and that’s liberating for her.

Make no mistake, she will consistently test to make sure these 3 things are still in place. It’s not a challenge to your authority, your masculinity, or your dominance; it’s actually a compliment. She treats these little tests like a “ping” signal. She pings because maybe, just maybe, she’s feeling a little insecure right at that moment and she needs to know the BAR is still firmly in place and because you’re the only one who can make her feel secure again. Don’t cower from the test, delight in it. She’s pinging you because she believes in you and knows with all her heart that you’ll return the ping signal with a loving, “it’s okay, babygirl … everything’s under control.”

All your girl has ever wanted is freedom in chains. Give her that freedom.

Set the BAR for her.