The 6 Major Misconceptions About This Blog

I think there’s a lot of misconceptions about my blog and I want to clear up 6 major points of contention:

1) I am not telling people that they should run their relationships according to my blog.

Take the good, leave the bad, do what works for your relationship.  I’m not a sage.  I’m not a guru.  I’m some dude on the internet dispensing unsolicited advice.  If something I suggest works for you, great!  If something I suggest makes you feel uneasy, no problem, just ignore it and move on to the next post.  These posts are not rules, they are suggestions and ideas for your relationship.  Nothing more.  This blog is not a Holy Book.  It’s a blog – that’s all.

2) I don’t believe everyone would be happiest in a Traditional Gender Roles relationship.

Statistics show that the majority of people are happiest in a Traditional Gender Roles relationship with some kink thrown into the bedroom.  Maybe you’re not a statistic.  Maybe you’re not the “majority”.  Maybe equality in your relationship works perfectly for you.  Maybe you don’t like kink.  If that’s the case, and your relationship is fulfilling and makes all partners happy, who am I to say you’re doing it wrong?  The purpose of this blog is to help people achieve peace and happiness in their relationships.  In the majority of cases, my blog will help you do that, but I don’t lump everyone together.  You’re as unique as your relationship.  All I ask is that you pursue a relationship style that makes you happiest and brings everyone peace.

3) I believe women have choices.

Shocking, I know.  An anti-feminist like me believes that women have choices.  But it’s true, they do.  Women have the choice to become CEO’s, astronauts (cosmonauts for my Russian readers), housewives, or anything in between.  Anyone who shames women for choosing to be a wife and mother should be shamed themselves.  The entire point of progress is to have choices.  Now, again, statistics show that women are happiest when they are in a Traditional Gender Roles relationship, staying at home with their children, and behaving in a feminine manner, but you may not be part of those statistics.  The choice is yours, ladies.  Do whatever makes you happiest and I’ll be happy for you.

For what it’s worth, I’m not against feminism’s most basic premise (”women should have choices”), I am against what feminism has become with all its racist, misandrist, and even misogynistic undertones.

4) My posts are gendered for a reason.

Let’s say you’re a lesbian couple who want to try to work your own style of Traditional Gender Roles into your relationship.  My blog still applies to you if you want it to.  There are so many different style of relationships now (gay, lesbian, polyamorous, straight-monogamous to name just a few) that if I were to address every single pronoun and every single style of relationship in one post, the text would be 1,000 words instead of 100 – not to mention it would be so jumbled up with various pronouns that it simply wouldn’t flow aesthetically.  I gender my posts for brevity – to keep them short and memorable.  When I use the pronoun “he/his”, I mean the dominant partner.  When I use the pronoun “she/her”, I mean the submissive partner.  Insert whatever gender or style of relationship works for you.  The concept behind each post is what matters – not the actual content.

5) I am against government-sanctioned gay marriage.

I’m also against government-sanctioned plural marriage.  I’m also against government-sanctioned straight, monogamous marriage.  I’m against the government sanctioning ANY marriage.  In my opinion, the government has no place in your bedroom, in your relationship, or in your marriage vows.  The way I see it, government needs to get the hell out of the marriage business and leave it to individuals.  If the words “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” mean anything, it’s that the governments of this world do not have the right to tell us who we can and cannot marry.

6) Fully informed consent is the most important aspect of any relationship.

Anything done to another without fully informed consent is abuse and a violation of personal liberties.  Have you decided that your partner can do anything to you without your consent?  That’s still consent – you’ve consented to non-consent.  Anything I suggest in my blog requires fully informed consent from all parties.  Let me repeat: anything done to another without fully informed consent is abuse.

Okay, that’s all.  It’s been a long time coming, and I realize this is a long post, but I needed to make these six things perfectly clear.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled reprogramming.

-VIS