“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” – Ephesians 5:22
This Scriptural verse is often quoted as an example of how women are to behave – submissive and obedient, without questioning the husband who is the head of the wife. And it’s true. Wives are expected to be obedient to their husbands, not grieve their husbands by nagging, and follow the instructions and directions given to them by their husbands. This is Godliness.
But we often ignore what Paul said just three verses later:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” – Ephesians 5:25
Yes, the wife is to submit to the husband. But at the same time, the husband is to love his wife so much that he is able to put aside his pride when he is wrong, change his decision when his wife advises a better direction, and generally respect his wife’s words. Don’t shut her down and don’t shut her out. She has concerns – valid concerns – about the decisions her husband makes. It’s the husband’s job not to ignore those fears and concerns but, rather, comfort and strengthen her if his decision is final or change his decision if his wife is able to raise concerns which hadn’t occurred to him.
Christ loved his followers so much that he sacrificed his life for them, and husbands have a duty to make the sacrifices of ego and pride if they’re headed in the wrong direction.
Leadership is not about having the final word. Leadership is about listening to every member of the team and making the decision that is best for everyone involved.