Please Stop Holding “Coming Out” Parties

Last year, I got invited to a cook-out where the host came out as gay.

“And?” I thought.

Look, folks, it’s 2018.  Nobody really gives a sh*t if you’re gay anymore.  In 1999, it was a big deal.  But if you invite people to your place to have a good time and the climax of the evening is something that bores us, you don’t need to focus on your sexual orientation, you need to focus on being a better host.

“Coming out” parties are the 21st century equivalent of holding a strawberry social.  Nothing of consequence happens.  When I go to a cookout, I’m more interested in the quality of the burgers than your sexual orientation.  You’ve known you’re gay since you were 6?  Okay, but how are those burgers coming along?

If you’re going to tell us, just text us.  And don’t be surprised if we text back, “that’s cool.  How’s work?”


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