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  1. Dear Mr. Stepford,

    If only it were that simple. i recently started exchanging emails with a Man. i thought we we starting to bond over a shared fantasy interest in hypnotism/brainwashing/mind control/bondage/kidnapping. Specifically, we met over a YouTube discussion of Wonder Woman being chloroformed, bound with her own lasso of obedience, and forced to submit.

    Needless to say, i was tremendously excited by those ideas. He said He felt the same. Over the course of a month and a half, we had progressed to the point where i was writing several short stories per week to Him and He would reply with a few sentences of encouragement. Gradually, the stories became less about what the Nazis were going to do to Wonder Woman, and more about what He might do to me.

    He continued encouraging me to go farther and be more shocking about how i would serve Him and how He would use me. i think we were both getting a tremendous amount of enjoyment from my fantasy subjugation at His hands. i had asked Him and He had agreed to refuse to permit me any sexual release. This drove me wild with desperation. We had reached the point where we were discussing a meeting in real life in several months when the world had recovered from the pandemic.

    Some part of me realized how foolishly dangerous this game would become if played in person, with someone i did not know at all, but i didn’t care. A part of me other than my brain was making the decisions, and oh it wanted me to be weak and powerless in His hands. It simply felt so delicious to think about how all my petty female objections could be brushed aside and ignored. i would simply be a possession. An object, to be treasured and protected, or smashed and destroyed, at His whim.

    i had actually researched ways that i could make myself unconscious and helpless for Him. So, that He would be able to easily restrain and kidnap me from some mutually agreed upon remote location. Fear and Desire mixed in me as i came nearer to offering my throat to the Wolf with the Red Roses.

    And then . . . . nothing.

    i wrote to Him a number of times asking if something i had written or done had offended or angered Him and that i was truly sorry if that was the case. i asked Him to let me know if the stories had been too explicit or too tame, if the topics had not interested Him. If the frequency had been too seldom or too often. i asked if He would like to correct me, or have me correct myself, for my fault.

    i finally asked if He could at least give a one word reply of whether he wanted to continue to communicate. Nothing. So, i have given up. Again. Because this has been a repeating pattern with my relationships with Men. Over the course of many years. In person or online, long or short term.

    i assume that since the only thing in common is me, that the fault must lie therein.
    Thank You for giving me a forum to vent.



    1. Hi Robyn,

      I’m sorry he ghosted you like that. I’ve had it happen to me. Often, I have figured that when people ghost another right before a meeting it’s because their self esteem is so low that they never intended to meet. It’s a shame, it really is.

      I’m glad I could offer you a forum to vent your frustrations.


      Liked by 1 person

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